IVF Side Note: The right one is Randy!

YOU CAN ACTUALLY PULL AN OVARY LIGAMENT, Y’ALL!!! You don’t even have to be pregnant! It could be caused by a big bladder! This is NO 💩! My right one has been pulled, and apparently the ovary it’s supposed to be supporting is named Randy. We’ll get to that, but first…

If it’s going to happen to anyone it will happen to me. I have said this more times than I want to admit. I’ve had some of the strangest injuries and odd luck of anyone I know. I don’t say “bad” luck because it’s not all bad. It’s just weird. IVF has proven no different than anything else in my life. Odd things just keep happening to me!
My stim meds made me absolutely exhausted. Apparently this does happen but not often, like 15% of the time. Go figure it happens to me. I was a zombie until two days after retrieval. 
My bladder is huge, and I have been told this multiple times (which is weird enough). Apparently, it’s SO big that it pushes against my right ovary. The right one happens to be the ovary that held like 2/3 of the eggs they retrieved so it’s pretty damn sore anyway. I retrieved 21 eggs, which is apparently more than average. (Most retrievals are below 20 is what I am told.) Twelve of the 21 eggs came from the right ovary. NOW that bloated, inflamed right ovary has the weight of my bladder pushing on it too. ALSO, the ovary itself is pretty heavy at the moment, which only adds to the weight straining against my ovarian ligament – the ligament which attaches to my pelvic wall and suspends my right ovary. (It keeps my ovary where it’s supposed to be, folks!) Well, all the extra weight straining against the ligament somehow resulted in a pulled ovarian ligament. Seriously? 🙄 Yes, seriously. 
The pain is insane! Yesterday we made a special trip (2 hours one way) to our clinic because we thought maybe I was hyper-stimulated or my bladder was having spasms or something. On a 1-10 pain scale it was an 8!!! I was worried my appendix was rupturing! That’s how we found out about the ligament.  What’s the cure? Nothing. There’s nothing to do except take Tylenol every 4-5 hours and take it as easy as possible. That’s it. There is no fix. 
Luckily, this didn’t keep us from transferring today! We transferred two perfect embryos this morning and it went off without a hitch. SOMEHOW, while the doc was moving things around down there he managed to relieve some of the strain on my ligament and the pain eased up quite a bit. I’m at a 2-3 on the pain scale now, but I am sure the Tylenol is doing something too. It just kind of feels, now, like PMS, but who knew a tiny string of tissue holding a little extra weight could make me shake and sweat from pain? Certainly not me. It hurt so bad!!! I can’t even find any info online about this EVER happening to anyone else. The doc said again that it’s rare but does happen. He says this to ME a lot. I am honestly NOT surprised at all. 
Another funny thing that isn’t necessarily rare but hilarious… The anesthesia made me really loopy and I apparently told the nurse at retrieval that I was naming my ovaries. The right one is Randy and the left one is Lucinda, supposedly. I reported that Randy is a real bitch and I was cussing her (I assume all ovaries are female) quite a bit following retrieval. I do NOT remember ANY of this at ALL, but the nurse asked me if Randy was being a pain again today when I got there for transfer. I must have looked confused because that’s when she told me the story of my drug-induced ovary naming session. In retrospect maybe Randy should be spelled with an “I” at the end (Randi)? Does that make it more feminine? Anyway, word to the wise, just don’t talk after they give you the anesthesia. If you’re like me the stim meds have made you feel like shit for weeks, the birth control didn’t stop your period but rather made you spot and cramp for six weeks, and the post-op anesthesia hangover is the BEST you have felt in almost two months. You’ll be tempted to chat it up but don’t! You might start naming and cussing at your ovaries.  Or, if you do feel the need to speak, make sure no one is recording you! You do NOT want to be one of those post-anesthesia videos that goes viral on social media! 

That’s all I have for now. Our cable and Internet is down for repairs so I guess I’ll take a nap. Much love!! ✌🏻💚