Sick…

I don’t talk about my family much, but there is one family member who is my absolute favorite soul, my nephew, G. I know all parents think their kid is the most unique, the cutest, the sweetest, etc. People think it’s weird I am so obsessed with G, but I absolutely adore him. I would help raise him and spend time with him every day for the rest of my life if I could. Our bond is special, and I can’t imagine anything bad (truly bad) happening to him. 

My family is complicated and it would take too much blogspace to bore you with it. However, to understand my relationship with G you probably need to know this… G spent the majority of his first 3 years living with me and my ex-husband. He called my in-laws “Grandma” and “Grandpa”. I helped raise him. I continued to care for him 3-4 days a week after my divorce, until the grandmother I lived with became terminally ill and eventually passed away. I moved two towns away and I only see G a few times a month now. It breaks my heart not seeing him. 

My mom called last night and told me G is sick. Honestly, that’s not unusual. He was born with GERD and was a sick baby. He also has Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder. (Basically, he is socially awkward and is really good at music and art.) My point is he always has some kind of ailment. This is not a cold or the flu. It’s something more. G has always been pretty pale, but lately his skin is almost transparent. He’s had a lot of stomach trouble. He doesn’t sleep much and he’s always tired. He’s cranky and whiny and he’s had some bruises that were taking a long time to heal. Off to the children’s hospital for labs. It took 6 weeks to get the results. As it turns out, he likely has one (or more) serious illness from a list of about 10 things that could be wrong with him. Most of them are treatable, and most likely survivable, (but all can be terminal). That doesn’t make it feel any better, especially when one of them is luekemia. 

I’m terrified. I’m angry, sad, and feeling quite helpless. I can’t imagine how my sister feels. I can’t understand why this is happening to a nine-year-old, particularly the one nine-year-old I love more than any human being on this planet. I spent all night crying. I cried myself to sleep. I keep praying over and over, “Please, not him. He can’t be sick.”

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